Archive for November, 2006

It’s out there on our streets..

November 30, 2006


What about this pair of Wankers eh?

Then we got another stabbing.

Then this. And this.

Well fucked up this week,though i reckon we here in Hood Town must have run out of bullets as we ain’t had a shooting for a few weeks!

Mind you our local gang of scrotes seem to be thin on the ground over the last few week so it ain’t all bad news,well it is for the area our cunts have set up camp in but while they ain’t pissing up my fence i don’t give a fuck.

I have topped up on cough syrup and pills so now i’m off to get wrapped up on the setee and watch a few more episodes of the Adventures of Robin Hood. And as i feel like death warmed up i ain’t cooking tonight so it’s outside caterers for us,i hope that goes ok with the lovely Mrs B,Hey i’m too weak to peel an onion…Honest!

Stay safe dear reader.

Jolly japes & a wizard wheeze.

November 30, 2006

Not well at all today,my head if full of snot & pain, I don’t think the beer worked at all,i sound like a cross between Darth Vader & Davros.

Keeping clear of mirrors today unall as i don’t want to catch a glimpse of what i look like. All my plans for today are put on hold as i just cough n sneeze all over the place.About time the medical bods sorted this flu crap out,Gets me every year without fail,two sometimes three times a year i get snookered by it, you would think i would be immune now after the intake of over the counter drugs i get into me.


“Slip us a beachams mate,n you aint seen me right”

A big grin this morning as i read Mrs Bs note she left for me as at the bottom it said “My hair straighteners are stuck to the radiator” i had visions of them being melted to the rad..Just the plug droped down the back,mind you i aint got um off yet.

I suppose i am gunna have to force myself out of the comfort of Barnze Towers and drag myself up to the shops, i might spend an hour browsing the products in the chemists (Drug store, for my American readers) in the hope that someone will bung me a lemsip!

Anyroad enough wallowing in my own snot,i’m off to get some fresh air down me.

Have a good one, stay healthy and safe folks.

Day of the dead…

November 29, 2006


Just made it through the working week. I’m absofuckinlootly bollocksed, Not that anyone gives a fuck at the factory i might add,Still theres the pleasure in knowing they will come down with it soon.

A belly full of ale will shift it i reckon,if not i will as 4 D says be to pissed to care and that sounds good to me.

I wonder if some fucker slipped me a lump of polonium?

Anyroad i’m off the get shit faced.Have a good one and Stay Safe!

Here we go again…

November 28, 2006

Sore throat,snotty nose,coughing..I wonder if it’s a tumour?

Take care out there.

Oh what a beauty!

November 26, 2006


What a lovely morning,Sun shining, birds singing, a bacon sanger and a mug of tea and the company of the lovely Mrs B. It’s good to be alive!

Still no crimbo shopping done and to tell the truth i ain’t realy fussed, i hate shopping for other folks though i can go in and out of the shops in a flash if i am buying for myself, Cash in an envelope looks on the cards for this year, Lick n stick …Merry Christmas…Job Done!

Anyroad i’m off to mop the kitchen floor,See ya in in the trip tonight!

Take care & stay safe.

Curry..The aftermath!

November 25, 2006


A fantastic nite we had,The food was top class (A good chef never fails apart from trying to caserole liver) the wine great, the company lovely and the after dinner chocs rounded the evening off but this morning when i woke up the room was full of curry flavoured fart gas.

One of the joys of a curry,Funny how ya can never get a fish n chips fart eh?

Raining today so a walk down the grove is out so it looks like we may be nipping up to the Ferry for a late lunch and a few beers later on.Live the dream!

Anyroad i’m off to call Stoke Bardolph to let them know some overtime work is on it’s way.

Have a good weekend dear reader & stay safe.

Cat that got the cream.

November 24, 2006

Classic laugh today as some Cats charity worker came to Barnze Towers asking for money.I soon put him right on my views of cats.He scuttled off like a frightened deer when i told him that cats were the other white meat.Cash for cats my arse.    


It must have been his worse nightmare knocking on my door,Cheered me up no end that has.All i need now is a nun and a midgit to turn up,Best load up the paintball gun just incase.

Anyroad i’m off to get on with the dinner,tasting as i go of course.Wrap up warm it’s cold out there.

Latin thought of the week.

November 24, 2006

Ridentem dicere verum quid vetat?

They all want a good time you can bet.

November 24, 2006


Good to get back in the kitchen after so many day shifts at the factory i can tell ya, Today i am making a Mrs B a curry for dinner and as Young Master B is out with his young lady tonight it looks like a bit of romance is in the air (That and the curry fumes) so with a couple of bottles of wine chilling and a few well placed candles its at last time to relax.

Good to see the BBC have signed up for another series of Robin Hood a top bit of tele that is. Talking of tele Mrs B was telling me how one of her co-workers was on the hunt for a copy of Saturday Night Sunday Morning the film of Alan Sillitoe’s book based here in Hood Town for her dad,Anyroad a few months back i got a free copy from a newspaper so within a few seconds of the subject coming up i gave Mrs B the disk for her mates dad,Job done..A classic film well worth a viewing and a must if your from Nottingham.Good deed done,now to get back to scheming!

The weather forcast tell me we are to get gale force winds tonight so i have to batten down the garden today,i don’t want my watering can going through one of my neighbours window do i? Come to think about it i might lob it through one of ums window for a laugh.

Anyroad i’m off to grind a spice or two.Have a good one and Stay Safe .

Whats that smell?

November 23, 2006

I have noticed that i have started to draw the smelly people to when i’m on busses,Horses,rabbits bedding,cannabis are just some of the perfumes i have enjoyed this week!!! And yesterday i heared a bloke on his phone whilst on the toilet???Whats all that about eh?Not even time to have a shit nowadays.

Odd to see in the news that the chief constable of Nottingham wants to give heroin away at a cost of £12,000 a year to addicts to reduce crime.Give me £6,000  a year & i wont become an addict! Mad!

Anyroad i’m off for a belly full of ale and i ain’t getting out of bed till the newsagents have ran out of morning papers.

Have a good one dear reader and stay safe.