Archive for the ‘Cry’ Category


June 13, 2008

But fucking funny.


Bang out of order.

January 11, 2008

I ain’t all that bothered about fur coats and i ain’t all the fussed on old Maccas ex wife but i reckon if you are gunna rip the fur off a dog you should kill it in a proper way before you do. This video shows just how fucked up the Chinese fur trade is. Don’t watch it if you don’t want to see a live animal writhing in agony with it’s skin ripped off. Oh and by the way the fur on my parka is fake…Honest.

I’m off to wipe the tears from my eyes.


August 27, 2007

I caught my hand on a bad piece of work last nights and buggred up a couple of fingers,nowt realy serious but enough to hurt like fuck and leave me strapped up for a few days.Arse!!!

Other that that it’s just another day in paradise eh?
Anyroad i am only up here for a coke so it’s back to the factory flooor now…Keep smiling!

Noise pollution!

May 20, 2007

What is it with Sundays and folks trying to build a loft conversion with a load of old pallets and a sledge hammer..Fuck me if some twat near Barnze Towers has been hammering away for over two hours now,Disturbing my quiet time with his piss poor attempt at home improvement. Just pick up the yellow pages and call a builder for fucks sake!!!Ya cheap cunt!

A day of doing nowt is on the cards today,now that the hammering has stopped and things are quiet again apart from a local kid called Clorett who is crying again as she always does if she don’t get her way,things are back to normal Sunday mode.

What happened to those quiet Sundays when you could sit in the garden and listen to the birds singing with the village church bells ringing in the distance eh? A thing of the past now we have scrotes buzzing about on mini bikes off their crusts on drugs,and over weight chavvie mothers in ill fitting tracksuits shouting their brood in with a voice that would rip paint off a wall ! Just five rounds and a snipers rifle would restore peace.

I’m off to lie in a darkened room with my thoughts of chainsaws and baseball bats.

I could have won!

February 9, 2007


A good day out yesterday,though the snow only stayed for an hour or two so that was a bit of a fizzer.We went bowling but on the way i slipped on a bit of ice putting my back out (I never said owt to Mrs B though) and i was in pain all day (Never moaned about it though) but managed to bowl and due to the pain i lost….Mrs B was chiffed to win the trophy and i said nothing about my suffering,It’s the kind of bloke i am.

Yeah yeah ok i was shite….Next time i get the trophy back ok!

Today we are dining at Master Bs recomended eaterie the Big Wok as he reckons the sushi is good there and he should know as he loves the stuff,Anyroad that’s where we are going today,It’s a fairly new place and only a tenner for the buffet so i hope it’s as good as Master B says so.

The PC still aint right as some times whilest i am on the interweb the screen freezes,good job WordPress saves as ya go as its done it twice today!!!!

Anyroad i’m off for a shower n shave,Have a good one and spare a thought for my trophy!

Whats all that about?

January 21, 2007

What a nightmare,Yesterday was a bag of shite i can tell ya,I got a phone call at just after 5 am from Young master B,Who was in a right state,he was frightened and confused as to where he was,To cut a long one short we managed to get him home and we could see he wern’t right so we called an ambulance for him,By the time he arrived at hospital he was out of it,Some cunt had put something in his drink!!! Fucked him right up it did and for the first four hours he had a Coma Scale of just 5 and just lay there with the odd twitch,Not a good time for me n Mrs B ether as we sat by waiting for some response.

By 2 pm he had started to come round but had no idea what had happened since he left a bar in town (He went to a club with mates after that) and the next thing he knew he was lost,wandering about scared out of his wits! He will hopefully be coming out of hospital today,What a cuntish thing to do eh,Drug some fucker for a laugh.Not funny for him or us i can tell ya, At time we thought he would never wake up again but he always was a lucky bastard.

So anyroad thanks to the cunt who did that,you missed all the fun you twat!

What a thing eh? Out for a laugh with some mates and ending up half dead so some other cunt can have a laugh. Not a thing i want to go through again!By the way the last drink he remembers having was in Bar circle so watch yourslves.

Thank fuck he is ok

.Stay safe folks there’s twats everywhere!


December 15, 2006

Shifts done,Knackering but good to get back on the night shift,Good to catch up with Ann after a few weeks,And get up to speed on the family goss. Nowt much changes!

Out in a bit to Mrs Bs office bash so i got to put a shine on my shoes,Mind you as the Hardys & Hansons brewery has now stopped making my favorite tipple i will spend a bit of the night trying to find a substitute pint worth drinking…ARSE! Gutted about the loss of my pint i can tell you,I have been a Kimberley drinker since i was a nipper and a top drop it was unall,Pisses me right off the way the local brewerys are closing down all over the country,Mind you Castle Rock brewery do a steady mild so i might get stuck into that,what with it being local un all that.

Anyroad i’m off out for a few,Stay Safe out there and have a good weekend!

Jolly japes & a wizard wheeze.

November 30, 2006

Not well at all today,my head if full of snot & pain, I don’t think the beer worked at all,i sound like a cross between Darth Vader & Davros.

Keeping clear of mirrors today unall as i don’t want to catch a glimpse of what i look like. All my plans for today are put on hold as i just cough n sneeze all over the place.About time the medical bods sorted this flu crap out,Gets me every year without fail,two sometimes three times a year i get snookered by it, you would think i would be immune now after the intake of over the counter drugs i get into me.


“Slip us a beachams mate,n you aint seen me right”

A big grin this morning as i read Mrs Bs note she left for me as at the bottom it said “My hair straighteners are stuck to the radiator” i had visions of them being melted to the rad..Just the plug droped down the back,mind you i aint got um off yet.

I suppose i am gunna have to force myself out of the comfort of Barnze Towers and drag myself up to the shops, i might spend an hour browsing the products in the chemists (Drug store, for my American readers) in the hope that someone will bung me a lemsip!

Anyroad enough wallowing in my own snot,i’m off to get some fresh air down me.

Have a good one, stay healthy and safe folks.

Here we go again…

November 28, 2006

Sore throat,snotty nose,coughing..I wonder if it’s a tumour?

Take care out there.